Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
