Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
