this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize
