i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
one two three fourrrrnication!
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Randomize
