OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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