walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
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