I puked a lego.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
