He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Randomize
