I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
