It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
