Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
