It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
i think i scared a bird with my dick
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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