Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
