I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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