Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
