Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
drinking out of a sandbucket again
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
