I hate your face
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.�
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
It's not a walk of shame if you run
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
