the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
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