She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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