I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
