Swine flu. Run for my life!
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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