He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Those nachos came to me in a dream
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
