I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
