what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
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