im about as happy as oj after his trial
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
