Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
only you would photoshop your dick
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
