can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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