Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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