I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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