Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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