i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Liz is crying about burritos again.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize
