I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
