is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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