woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
