It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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