Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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