She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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