A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
