Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Randomize
