we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
