he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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