You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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