On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
