I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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