Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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