you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Success! We fucked roommates!
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