I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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