Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
