cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
