I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
